If by any case this happen in the good old USA probably the politicians will be hunted and killed like dogs, but believe or not this is a everyday job for the hundreds of bureaucrats in the European Union administrative center- Brussels.
In the European Union there are standards how the vegetables should look and fill under the touch. Couple of million euros were spend as a rewards for a bunch of philosophers, artists and other experts (read – scammers) to write an opinions how the cucumber or paprika should look and feel under the touch by human hand. There are two things which are not important for these European morons. And those two things are the taste or the quality of the food.

According to the high commissioner for the cucumber curviness Alek Reolee, the cucumber must follow a very small angle of curviness in order to be considered for the quality food. If the curviness is bigger the cucumber will be considered as the second class vegetable. He and his team of fifteen experts about the cucumber curviness are the best paid in the whole department of vegetable and fruit standards. The other department experts do not need to measure angles. For example the experts in the carrot department are just touching and observing the carrot specimens. The team involved in the paprika project is also doing the same thing – touching and observing. The other team which had a certain percentage higher salary is the tomato team because they are measuring the digression of the tomato shape (whatever this mean).

In 2007 the European Farmers start to gather on the outskirts of Brussels in order to kill every single European Union bureaucrat and to burn to the ground the union buildings. That was the moment when some of the EU bureaucrats finally wake up from the madness and start to think that something is very wrong.
After 2 years EU Agriculture Commissioner Mariann Fischer Boel said – July 1 marks the return to our shelves of the curved cucumber and the knobby carrot … We don’t need to regulate this sort of thing: it is far better to leave it to market operators.
26 types of fruits including the apricots and water melons will be freed entirely from appearance-related criteria. Other ten (apples, citrus fruits, kiwi fruit, lettuces, peaches and nectarines, pears, strawberries, sweet peppers, grapes and tomatoes) will be still considered by the “visual tests”.

Reading all these rules about vegetable in the European Union remind us to one joke! Three women are buying vegetable in a market.
The first woman is asking from the seller: I want cucumber but must be very big and without any curves, and smooth on touch!
The second woman: I want cucumber too. Doesn’t have to big but must be fat and smooth!
And the third woman: Cucumber for me too. Doesn’t matter how it looks I am going to eat it!

For WC News from Brussels,
Kevin Jacobs

Filed under: News